JONATHAN CORMUR: Hello Dork Squad. I'm Jonathan Cormur and you're listening to Dorktales Storytime, the podcast for kids and their pop culture-loving grown-ups.
THEME SONG: It's a beautiful day for a story, adventure and glory, new friends and old ones too. It's an excellent day to get swept away in a tail, so let us regale you.
JONATHAN CORMUR: This is a special episode we created with our friends at Girl Tales to celebrate Autism Acceptance Month. It’s a tale about a young person on a quest to find their own path and sense of belonging. I’m part of an all-autistic cast who take you back in time to the ancient land of Akva Nova to tell you the story of “Owen and the Order of the Ancient Cedar.” Enjoy!
NARRATOR: Our story begins once upon a time, in an ancient land called Akva Nova. This is a land where dragons roamed in the highest reaches of the Mystic Mountains. Where deep in the Great Forest of Akva Nova, fairy folk dwelled in hidden glades. Where brilliant queens and noble knights–
OWEN: Um. Excuse me? Mysterious Narrator? Can I call you Mysterious Narrator?
NARRATOR: Uh…um. Yes?
OWEN: You’re doing a great job, don’t get me wrong, but…this is maybe not how I would start my story.
NARRATOR: No?
OWEN: Nope. It might be a little too formal for me.
NARRATOR: I see!
OWEN: Can I give it a try?
NARRATOR: Starting…
OWEN: The story, yeah.
NARRATOR: Well this is highly irregular but I suppose–
OWEN: Once upon a right now, there is a super cool and extremely magical sorcerer with the power of the stars and moon combined! With the ability to move mountains, oceans, and plains at their fingertips! With the sorcerer skills to conjure many snacks! I’m talking INFINITE amounts of waffles!
OWEN: It’s me! Owen the Wayforger! A title that says I’m a maker of my own path! A believer that following your heart is great-no matter what form that takes!
NARRATOR: Uh Owen, you weren’t always–
OWEN: I know I wasn’t always Owen the Wayforger. But that’s why I’m here to help you tell my story! Together, we’ll go back in time and relive my epic quest for all to hear. This is– drum roll please– (the sound of a drumroll)
OWEN: “The Tale of How I Went From Just Owen to Owen the Wayforger!” …That’s…a little long. It’s a working title.
NARRATOR: This was a great way to start your story…I’m hooked!
OWEN: Right? And we haven’t even gotten to the best parts!
NARRATOR: Ooo! I can’t wait!
OWEN: So. It all started when I was studying in the Library of Sources, a big mystical library that sits right on the border of the Great Forest of Akva Nova. You can meet lots of awesome scholars in the Library of Sources, researching their favorite topics.
NARRATOR: Like “The History of Women Gargoyles & Their Looming Achievements” or “Precious Gemstones of the Mystic Mountaintops”.
OWEN: Exactly! Since I’m the only sorcerer in my family, I spent lots of time trying to teach myself about magic whenever I could. I read books on the theory behind sorcery, on how to draw complicated runes…you know, all very serious and important spellcasting stuff.
OWEN: OH and comic books! Mysterious Narrator, have you read that one Gwyn Guardian the Grand issue where her castle is attacked by trolls and she has to take her trusty dragon sidekick named Wyrmling to–
NARRATOR: Owen?
OWEN: Yeah?
NARRATOR: You were saying that you were studying in the Library of Sources…
OWEN: Right!
As usual, I was studying in the Library of Sources when I came across a scroll with a drawing of a large tree. it said–
NARRATOR: (With gravitas) The Order of the Ancient Cedar!
OWEN: Hey thanks for that assist Mysterious Narrator!
NARRATOR: Anytime.
OWEN: I’d never seen anything like it before! The scroll unfurled endlessly, with illustrations and legends about an order of sorcerers. My people!
OWEN: It said it’s a place where lots of sorcerers just like me lived in the trunk of a massive, and I mean massive, ancient cedar tree. They trained, ate meals, and learned together. They went on quests and had meetings with fairies and beasts I’d only ever seen in my comics. And they had the most spectacular Sorcerer titles: Goedwig the Gallantheart! Mildred the Kindseeker! Gregory the Goofyguy! Once I saw this scroll, I knew exactly what I had to do!
OWEN: …Uh. Mysterious Narrator?
NARRATOR: Yes, Owen?
OWEN: Could you help me out with the story transitions?
NARRATOR: Oh! Of course! (Clears throat) Owen was determined to set off and find their new sorcerer friends.
OWEN: (Thank you!) I want to join an Order with other sorcerers like me! I have to use everything I’ve learned about sorcery and prove that I can make my way to the Ancient Cedar. Big breath, magic at my fingertips, and a quest in my heart!
NARRATOR: Chanting their new refrain, Owen set off to meet with the library’s expert map maker, Lady Gremble. They hoped that she would help them chart their path to the Ancient Cedar tree.
OWEN: Hello, Lady Gremble! I need your best and most detailed map of the Great Forest, please!
GREMBLE: A map you say? I adore maps! Yup yup!
OWEN: That makes sense. You are the resident cartographer after all!
GREMBLE: And proud of it! Yup!
OWEN: Don’t hold back on me, Lady Gremble. I need to see all of the secret corners! I want to know exactly where every root, fern, and bush is. Leave no stone unturned! I’m headed off to find the Ancient Cedar!
GREMBLE: You are, are you?
OWEN: Yes, I’m going on a real quest! And I’m going to get my sorcerer name!
GREMBLE: (Sighs) The call to quest is heard by many of us folk. We are beckoned to tread the trails outside the Library. See what lies beyond our books!
OWEN: Have you had a lot of exciting adventures, Lady Gremble?
GREMBLE: Adventures? Oh, most certainly not. Nope nope!
OWEN: But you just said–
GREMBLE: I find the best quests are calm and uneventful. Pleasant walks in the woods. On the most traveled path, of course, which you can find laid out clearly on this map right here. Yup yup!
OWEN: I mean…that makes sense and it sounds nice! But–
GREMBLE: Yup yup, all you need is this map here. No need to go too far when questing, young Owen. Just follow what I’ve marked here on the map and you will do just fine. Yup, yup. This is the way to go to get your new title.
OWEN: What if what I’m looking for isn’t marked on your map?
GREMBLE: Impossible.
OWEN: But you don’t have the Ancient Cedar tree on here anywhere!
GREMBLE: If you stay on the path, you can’t go wrong.
OWEN: I’m just not sure if that will work for me!
GREMBLE: I believe you will do just fine. Yup, yup, yup!
NARRATOR: As Lady Gremble walked away, Owen wondered
OWEN: I love a good map and I love a good path. But what if my path is different than Lady Gremble’s?
NARRATOR: Owen left the Library as soon as dawn broke, with Lady Gremble’s very orderly map and the magical scroll in tow. It wasn’t long before they were in the Great Forest of Akva Nova, staying perfectly in line with the long winding path. Hours passed while Owen walked and walked, hoping that they were making progress on their journey.
OWEN: (As if to themself) Big breath, magic at my fingertips, and a quest in my heart! I just have to keep going! I will find the Order of the Ancient Cedar soon enough!
NARRATOR: But alas, all that surrounded them were pleasant trees, light breezes, and the chirps of friendly birds. No massive ancient cedars. No sorcerers. And absolutely no adventure.
OWEN: Something about this isn’t right…but Lady Gremble was insistent on me using her map.
OWEN: I think this map was for Lady Gremble, and I’m supposed to find my OWN way to the Ancient Cedar! Maybe? What if I tested out this theory and just…took one little step off the trail…
OWEN: Ok. Ok! One foot on the trail and one foot on my NEW trail. It’s a start! It feels right somehow! And…also very…terrifying! (laughs nervously) Maybe I should just listen to Lady Gremble after all–
VIVIEN: Magic maker on the path, following another’s map, when the object of your heart, is far beyond this simple start.
OWEN: Hello?
VIVIEN: Take one step or three or four, ‘til you see the trail no more! It’s another way to find the ancient tree that’s on your mind!
OWEN: Wait! Do you know where to find the Order of the Ancient Cedar? Also…who and where are you? Are you my magical guardian? Protector of the forest?! An ancient voice inside my head?!
VIVIEN: It’s me! The black crow up upon this branch!!
OWEN: Oh! Hello, crow!
VIVIEN: Or am I… (The sound of a poof of magic) this tiny field mouse at your feet?
OWEN: You just transformed!
VIVIEN: That’s because I can be anything I want to be, young sorcerer seeking the cedar tree! (The poof of magic)See? Now I’m a cat! (Cackles)
OWEN: That’s amazing! I would love to learn magic like that!
VIVIEN: (The poof of magic) A crow! (The poof of magic) A mouse! (The poof of magic) A cat! (The poof of magic) A witch wearing a hat! Made of grass! (Cackles again)
OWEN: A real witch!
VIVIEN: Vivien the Witch of the Bog, which sounds like a slog, but I have a small hut and a few pet frogs! So all and all it isn’t a bad gig. …gog?
OWEN: I’m Owen! A sorcerer from a library!
VIVIEN: (Cackles)
OWEN: I love your magic!
VIVIEN: Why thank you, Owen!
OWEN: I’m going to find the Order of the Ancient Cedar so I can learn magic just like it! And meet more people like you.
VIVIEN: But you’re thinking maybe this map is not your map?
OWEN: I- I was starting to get the feeling…?
VIVIEN: That’s what I thought! Let me teach you a little magic now to help you get to the tree of your dreams!
OWEN: You’re not trying to trick me are you?
VIVIEN: You don’t trust me?? Vivien?? The bog witch that suddenly appeared in front of you and transformed into many animals to tempt you off the path– you know what, now that I’m saying it out loud…
OWEN: You hear how it sounds, right?
VIVIEN: I do, I do. But, no matter. You need not listen to me. The real question is…will you trust…YOU? Close your eyes and find the beat of your heart, and it will tell you where your true path starts!
OWEN: I already have one foot on and one foot off the path…
VIVIEN: Just one more step and a little of your own magic is all it takes!
NARRATOR: Staring into the inky darkness of the Great Forest, Owen shook like a leaf, fearing what might happen if they followed their heart and stepped off the path. What dangers they might face! Wondering endlessly if they were doing the right thing by not listening to the mapmaker and his precise instructions, would that be the thing to save them, or the fatal mistake that leads to their demise?!
OWEN: Mysterious Narrator, please!
NARRATOR: Oops! (Giggles) Sorry about that! Got a little carried away.
OWEN: (as if to themself) Ok. I’ll call on my magic to map the path that’s all my own!
VIVIEN: Can you feel a new rhythm making you tap your toes?
OWEN: I can! Big breath, magic at my fingertips, and a quest in my heart! Then to finish the spell, I’ll take…a…step!
NARRATOR/VIVIEN: THEY DID IT!
OWEN: I did it! Look! I made a brand new path with my magic!
VIVIEN: Marvelous! Wonderful! Now onwards towards the Mystic Mountains, where a certain tree is said to reside…
OWEN: Thank you, Vivien! Thank you!
NARRATOR: Owen and Vivien the Witch traveled deeper and deeper into the woods. Vivien poofed in and out of different critter forms, introducing Owen to new creatures, beasts, and fairies as they traveled down their newly formed path. Owen was in awe, noting every new animal friend and collecting leaves and moss and lichen that they’d never seen before. The more of the Forest they took in, the more their eyes filled with wonder.
OWEN: The Great Forest of Akva Nova is so beautiful and strange and alive!
VIVIEN: This is home to all of the weirdest, wildest, and wonderful-est!
OWEN: (Laughing) No wonder I fit right in!
VIVIEN: (Cackles) That’s the spirit!
OWEN: But how will I get through this place to the Mystic Mountains before it gets too dark?
VIVIEN: Hmmm yes… you will need something swift! Any ideas?
OWEN: Wait a second! That’s it!
VIVIEN: Yes, yes of course! …Wait what’s it?
OWEN: Can you turn into a horse?
VIVIEN: I can do you one better. How about a Unicorn? (Cackles)
OWEN: Woo! To the Mystic Mountains, we go!
NARRATOR: The Sorcerer and the Bog-Witch-turned-unicorn rode toward the Mystic Mountains, racing under the trees, over roots and across the rivers and streams. Vivien only slowed down when the base of the Mountains was in sight, letting Owen dismount at the edge of a cave.
VIVIEN: Fare thee well, Owen! I hope you find your fellow sorcerers and the title that you seek!
OWEN: Thank you for your help and for teaching me new magic, Vivien! I hope we meet again!
VIVIEN: As do I, my sorcerer friend, now go find out your story’s end! (Cackling that fades as she runs into the distance)
OWEN: (Talking to themself) Big breath, magic at my fingertips, and a quest in my heart!
Just keep taking one step at a time. I’ve made a path, leading me into a cave, we’re going to find the other sorcerers and everything will be oh–
CLAMOR: (as if he is trying to sound intimidating) ROAR!
OWEN: Ahh!
CLAMOR: RAWR!
OWEN: It’s so…loud in here! I gotta cover my ears, I can’t concentrate when it’s really noisy.
CLAMOR: Arrrgrrrrr!
OWEN: Eek! …who goes there?
CLAMOR: My name is Clamor! Fierce and intimidating dragon of the Mystic Mountains and protector of the (A distant clamor that is cartoon-like, like assorted objects falling from a shelf, a few silly bonking sounds) Oh golly-stompers! Hold on a moment!
OWEN: Are you okay?
CLAMOR: I’m fine, I’m fine… (Clears throat) I have protected this place from–Fiddle-faddles! I’ve just stepped on a lego brick!
OWEN: Clamor?
CLAMOR: (As if he’s given up) Yes, yes I’m right here, the fearsome Clamor.
OWEN: But you’re a…a…
CLAMOR: Great and all-powerful dragon, covered in shining green scales with big ‘ol teeth. Yes, yes. But my speech is already ruined and I know you’re about to run away. I mean look, you’ve already covered your ears!
OWEN: There is a lot going on in here.
CLAMOR: I’ll never get this right!
OWEN: Get what right, Clamor?
CLAMOR: Dragons have hoards of treasure, right?
OWEN: Right! I mean, that’s what I’ve read at least.
CLAMOR: Yes well…I just love to collect lots of everyday objects, bouncy balls, slinkies, shiny metal things. Worthless to some…but…to me, they’re treasure!
OWEN: But that’s wonderful, what’s the problem?
CLAMOR: The problem is that I’m clumsy and - OOPS! (Cartooon-like slipping sound) Now why did I leave a rollerskate here?
OWEN: Oh I see! Or, I hear the problem. The noise!
CLAMOR: I’m supposed to protect the Ancient Cedar Tree and test all sorcerers who seek it out! To see if they’re worthy enough to pass through my cave and join the Order of the Ancient Cedar!
OWEN: Wait, really? I’m a sorcerer who’s trying to join the Order of the Ancient Cedar!
CLAMOR: (Genuinely) You are! What a coincidence!
OWEN: I can’t believe I’ve made it so far!
CLAMOR: CONGRATULATIONS! Although, I’m afraid it doesn’t matter.
OWEN: But…what do you mean?
CLAMOR: I can’t test sorcerers. No one takes me seriously with my clattering hoard! They never suspect I’m protecting such a magical place! (Tearing up) I’m a FAILURE!
OWEN: You’re not a failure, Clamor! You’re very intimidating to me!
CLAMOR: Really?
OWEN: Sure! You’re the first dragon I’ve ever met but…still! You stand up to all the dragons I’ve ever read about in the Library!
CLAMOR: Oh you’re just being nice!
OWEN: No really! Wait, I have an idea! Do you have a headband in your hoard you can spare?
CLAMOR: I guess. I don’t even deserve a hoard anymore…
OWEN: No look - I’ll use my magic to take all the moss and lichen and leaves I collected in the great forest…and attach it to the headband and then (The sound of swirling magic) put it over my ears and…Kablam! Headphones! Woo!
CLAMOR: And that…
OWEN: Means it’s not too loud in here for me anymore! So I can hang out! Maybe I can help you clear a path through your amazing hoard of treasure so it…or you don’t fall over so much!
CLAMOR: You would do that for this clumsy ‘ol dragon?
OWEN: I would do that for my best dragon friend named Clamor!
CLAMOR: Aw shucks!
NARRATOR: And that is just what Owen did! Armed with their headphones made from pure sorcery and wit, Owen worked with the dragon until the sun went down. They organized every bit of his treasure. They caught mischievous bouncing bouncy balls, shelved skates in pairs, and Owen even conjured a display for Clamor’s shiniest whistles. Together, they forged a clear path across the ground so no stumbling would occur. They completed their hard work, and sat together, drinking lemonade from swirly straws they found in Clamor’s treasure hoard. It took a long moment, but eventually Owen gathered their courage…
OWEN: (To themself) Big breath, magic at my fingertips, and a quest in my heart.
NARRATOR: And they asked Calmor their most burning question.
OWEN: (Clears throat) So Clamor…
CLAMOR: Yes Owen?
OWEN: Do you think I might be able to learn more about the Order of the Ancient Cedar? It’s ok if you can’t let me pass yet since you haven’t administered your test to see if I’m worthy but–
CLAMOR: Oh slimy-scales! I completely forgot and got carried away! Ahem. Reveal yourself Head Sorcerer of the Ancient Order, for I have found a new and most worthy member of the Order of the Ancient Cedar!
VIVIEN: I would say you have indeed! (Cackles)
OWEN: Vivien!
VIVIEN: That’s right, young Owen!
OWEN: You were one of the sorcerers I was looking for all along? HEAD sorcerer, even? I have so many questions!
VIVIEN: I love a magic maker with questions! So many amazing things start with curiosity!
VIVIEN: It is true! I am a sorcerer, and maybe a witch, but definitely a lover of animals and cackling! (Cackles)
OWEN: But what were you doing in the Great Forest?
VIIVEN: Out here amidst the trees and the mountains and the fairies and the dragons, we magic makers all share our knowledge and come together to make one another stronger. Which is why you’re here, yes?
OWEN: Yes!
VIVIEN: We of the order value individuals who are not afraid to listen to their hearts and find their own paths, which you did! Did you not?
OWEN: I…I did!
VIVIEN: And you did so while celebrating the paths of others! We all have different ways of reaching our goals, do we not?
OWEN: We do!
VIVIEN: We of the order ALSO value facing challenges with compassion and pluck and generosity! With creativity! With staying true to yourself!
CLAMOR: Owen was all of those things with me, and even encouraged me to find my own path.
VIVIEN: You were always meant to find us, and we were meant to find you! And you forged your path to make that meeting come true! Now, all you need to do is take our Order Oath and your true studies can begin! Are you ready?
OWEN: I’ve never been more ready!
VIVIEN: Repeat after me! I, Owen, most studious student of magic-
OWEN: I, Owen, most studious student of magic-
VIVIEN: Vow to cast the spells that come from deep within–
OWEN: Vow to cast the spells that come from deep within–
VIVIEN: Help magic makers with their own quests to begin–
OWEN: Help magic makers with their own quests to begin–
VIVIEN: And always make sure to listen to my heart–
OWEN: And always make sure to listen to my heart–
VIVIEN: For wherever I am is the best place to start!
OWEN: For wherever I am is the best place to start!
VIVIEN: I now dub thee Owen the Wayforger, creator of paths and empowerer of others! This title you shall carry, for as long as it suits you!
OWEN: Owen the Wayforger!
It’s…it’s…
It ‘s perfect! Spectacular! As rad as I am! Yeah!
NARRATOR: That’s right!
OWEN: Not long after I got my brand new sorcerer name, I got to head through the rest of Clamor’s cave, and when I came out the other side I laid eyes on the massive, Ancient Cedar! There were SO MANY SORCERERS THERE. I mean. All the ones I read about. Goedwig, Mildred, Gregory, and more! Each of them is different, magical, strange, and AWESOME! The thing we had in common was that we were all so different! I fit right into the Order, as the newly titled Owen the Wayforger! Pretty cool, right?
NARRATOR: The coolest!
OWEN: Now I split my time between the Ancient Cedar Tree and my little corner in the library. I drink lemonade and chat with Clamor about his collections, I take walks with Lady Gremble in the forest, and study magic with Vivien! She just taught me how to turn into a crow!
NARRATOR: And they all lived happily ever after!
OWEN: Hmmm…
NARRATOR: Not good?
OWEN: It’s good just…not quite right…
NARRATOR: And they lived…weirdly, wildly, wonderfully ever after?
OWEN: THE END!
REBECCA CUNNINGHAM: That was “Owen and the Order of the Ancient Cedar” written by Molly Murphy, produced by Tessa Flannery, starring Jonathan Cormur, Anna Maguire, and Imani Russell, executive produced by Chad Chenail and Jodi Murphy. This episode was funded by the Inevitable Foundation, a non-profit that invests in disabled writers and filmmakers so they can achieve artistic and financial freedom so they can use film and television to destigmatize disability and mental health globally.
JONATHAN CORMUR: I hope you enjoyed Owen’s adventure, and may it remind you that you are magical, brave and kind too. Now, go be the hero of your own story and Mr. Redge and I will see you next, once-upon-a-time!
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