Dorktales Storytime
Be the hero of your own story with Dorktales Storytime, the award-winning podcast for kids and their pop culture loving grownups. Enter their Once Upon a Time world where hosts, Jonathan Cormur and Mr. Reginald T. Hedgehog, take you on a storytelling journey of curiosity and acceptance. You’ll explore reimagined fairytales and fables with social emotional themes, discover inspiring stories of history’s hidden heroes, and experience imaginary tales of boundless possibilities.
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Dorktales Storytime
The Color Pillars - An Ancient Mystery Story for Kids
Jonathan and Redge travel to the Cliffhangers eager to witness the legendary Color Pillars glow in the Spring Equinox light. But when they arrive in the village of Symbol Ism, they discover something is terribly wrong—the once-vibrant pillars are covered in an eerie, unexplainable muck. As they search for answers, they encounter someone who sees the fading pillars as a sign to tear down the ancient site and build a brand new theme park. With time slipping away, Jonathan and Redge must unravel the mystery of the pillars before their brilliance—and history itself—is lost forever.
Go to the episode webpage: https://jonincharacter.com/the-color-pillars/
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https://dorktalesstorytime.aweb.page/ep108freePDF
PARENTS, TEACHERS AND HOMESCHOOLERS: In this adventure, Jonathan and Redge journey to the Cliffhangers to witness the legendary Color Pillars, only to find the historic site at risk of being torn down and replaced by a theme park. Through curiosity, teamwork, and advocacy, the duo uncovers the truth behind the fading glow and learns the importance of preserving history, respecting the environment, and standing up for what matters. This episode encourages kids to think critically, engage in problem-solving, and appreciate the value of cultural heritage.
IF YOU ENJOYED THIS STORY about a special place in the Land of Once Upon A Time, you might like traveling to more lands with Harold the Hare Mail carrier and Redge in EP67 Special Delivery: https://jonincharacter.com/special-delivery/
CREDITS: This episode is a Jonincharacter production. It was written by Monique Hafen Adams, edited and produced by Molly Murphy, and performed by Jonathan Cormur. Sound recording and production by Jermaine Hamilton at Pacific Grove Soundworks.
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Now, go be the hero of your own story and we’ll see you next once-upon-a-time!
JONATHAN CORMUR: Hello Dork Squad. I'm Jonathan Cormur and you're listening to Dorktales Storytime, the podcast for kids and their pop culture-loving grown-ups.
THEME SONG: It's a beautiful day for a story, adventure and glory, new friends and old ones too. It's an excellent day to get swept away in a tail, so let us regale you.
REDGE: Jonathan! Jonathan!
JONATHAN: Yes, Redge?
REDGE: Have you seen where I put my winter scarf? I can’t find it anywhere!
JONATHAN: Is it on the chair near the door?
REDGE: No, no. I looked there.
JONATHAN: In your bedroom?
REDGE: No!
JONATHAN: In that massive pile of scarves sitting right there on the table?
REDGE: Those are my autumnal scarves. I need my winter scarf! It gets quite frigid at the Cliffhangers, you know?
JONATHAN: It’s here, Redge!
REDGE: Where?
JONATHAN: In the pantry. By the–.
REDGE: Snacks! Of course. Oh thank goodness, we found it. Even though it’s spring here in the Folktale Forest, we’ll be traveling to high altitudes where temperatures can stay near zero year round!
JONATHAN: Always good to be prepared!
REDGE: I’ve been looking forward to stopping at the Cliffhangers on our T.A.L.E. tour.
JONATHAN: The Thrilling and Astounding Lore Expedition! I also can’t wait to visit and collect more important lore from Once Upon a Time. What else do we need?
REDGE: I’ve got it all I think. Warm clothes, hiking boots, notebook, quill, extra socks, snacks, snacks, and more snacks. Oh, and our travel guides!
JONATHAN: Travel guides?
REDGE: I’ve been studying up on all the wonderful things to see and do at The Cliffhangers. This way we’ll be a step ahead on collecting stories!
JONATHAN: Smart!
REDGE: Top of my list are the Color Pillars.
JONATHAN: The Color Pillars?
REDGE: The Color Pillars are the most ancient ruins to exist in all of Once Upon a Time. No one knows for sure how they came to be.
JONATHAN: What are they exactly?
REDGE: That remains unknown as well. From what experts can gather, they’re just large colorful pillars standing in a field just outside the village of Symbol Ism.
JONATHAN: It says here they stand in a perfect circle facing the other. And as the sun rises and sets for a brief moment each pillar is hit with a blast of light reflecting the true beauty of their colors.
REDGE: It's supposed to be truly magnificent! As the light hits them, one turns red, another yellow, another blue, and the last, a vibrant green.
JONATHAN: Your favorite!
REDGE: Indeed! And even more exciting, it's the Spring Equinox tomorrow!
JONATHAN: Does something happen to the pillars on Spring Equinox?
REDGE: Does it ever!! Not only will the light reflect the vibrant colors, but the sun of the Spring Equinox will hit the pillars just right and make them shimmer with an iridescent gleam.
JONATHAN: Wow! A sight to behold! I can’t wait!
(Beep beep of the magical minivan heard outside)
JONATHAN: There’s our ride!
REDGE: And our driver! Hello Sal A. Mander!
SAL: All aboard the Magical Minivan!
REDGE: Ready to continue our T.A.L.E. Tour and collect more lore?
SAL: You know it, Redge! I will get you there, please worry not! We’ll make it to that mountain top!
REDGE: Bravo!
(Another honk as they board the Magical Minivan.)
JONATHAN: We’ll need to engage Up, Up, and Away Mode to reach the top of the Cliffhangers and the village of Symbol Ism!
REDGE: Ah yes! I’m so excited to fly!
SAL: We’ll just pull on this lever here. Spin this rainbow pinwheel counter-clockwise. And press this big button with a bird on it!
JONATHAN: There are the Hover Hawk wings!
SAL: Deluxe issue, first generation, you know?
REDGE: Up, up, and Away!
REDGE: As usual, the Magical Minivan has made impeccable time. Come Jonathan, there’s our bed and breakfast.
MONTY (very solemnly/dryly): Good evening and welcome to Symbol Ism, the best little village in all the Cliffhangers. I’m so happy you’ve decided to stay at Billy Goat Mountain Top Bed and Breakfast where at every turn you’ll be left in wild (whispers echo) wild wild wild (full volume again) anticipation. My name’s Monty. Monty Mountain Goat. Do you have a reservation with us?
JONATHAN: Hello, yes, Reginald T. Hedgehog and Jonathan Cormur checking in for the night.
REDGE: Good evening! I made our reservations months ago. I know how busy it can get here during the Spring Equinox.
JONATHAN: Everyone must want to get a glimpse of the Color Pillars at their most vibrant.
REDGE: And shimmeriest!
MONTY: Nope. You’re the only visitors here.
JONATHAN: Huh?
REDGE: My travel guides say people come from all over Once Upon a Time to see the mystical light transformation of the Color Pillars at the Spring Equinox.
MONTY: Not anymore.
JONATHAN: Why?
REDGE: What do you mean?
MONTY: Oh. You haven’t heard. Ok. Well, the Color Pillars are all covered in muck. Their colors don’t shine. At all.
JONATHAN: Don’t shine?
MONTY: Nope.
REDGE: Not even a glimmer?
MONTY: Not anymore.
REDGE: Covered in muck, you say?
MONTY: Yup. Disgusting. Leafy brown, crusty, yucky muck.
JONATHAN: What’s it from?
MONTY: Don’t know. Nobody does. Won’t come off. Can’t be fixed. And nobody’s checked in here since.
REDGE: This is terrible news.
MONTY: Tell me about it. Here are your keys. Have a nice stay.
REDGE: Jonathan, what are we going to do?
JONATHAN: Since we came all this way, we should at least take a look at the ruins, right?
REDGE: Yes, that’s true. Even documenting ruined ruins will be good information to add to the lore of the land!
JONATHAN: Let’s grab some dinner before bed. We’ll wake up bright and early, just as we planned, and make it to the Color Pillars before sunrise.
REDGE: Sounds good, Jonathan. A good meal never hurts to heal a broken heart. (Sighs) It’s quite strange, don’t you think? What could be all over the pillars covering up their glimmering colors?
JONATHAN: Who knows? It could be the wear and tear of the land. Could be an invasive mold. Could be the natural causes of a warmer…
BENNY: It could be the best thing to ever happen to the Cliffhangers!
REDGE: Huh?
JONATHAN: Who are you?
BENNY: Hi there, the name’s Benny, Benny Bison. I think what’s happening to the Color Pillars is simply a natural progression of our environment. A sign from the cosmos, if I may, saying it’s time to move on and move over. For years now, I’ve advocated for change. A fresh bold look at what the Cliffhangers could truly be. Out with the old and in with the new, that’s my motto.
MONTY: (goat call) B-B-B-Benny…can I help you?
BENNY: Oh hello, Monty, you old goat.
MONTY: What he’s really saying is he wants to bulldoze the Color Pillars to make room for his theme park.
BENNY: The Cliffhangers–Extreme Heights, Wild Suspense.
MONTY: Bah!
BENNY: I just believe that if we’re going to save our Cliffs we’ve got to be bold and re-envision our potential. Wouldn’t it be nice to have customers again, Monty? Maybe even turn on the “no vacancy” sign?
MONTY: Well…I…I…
BENNY: Exactly. Besides, we already got approval from the Cliffs Council. Tomorrow morning we begin construction. Here’s all the paperwork.
MONTY: Let me see that.
BENNY: Look to the future, Monty, because it’s coming whether you want it or not. Very soon, there will be a new landscape on the horizon. Good night!
JONATHAN: Wow, I guess it’s a good thing we came. We may be the last to ever see the Color Pillars, covered in muck or not.
REDGE: This is just terrible!. The Color Pillars have always stood here! No one has truly gotten a chance to learn how they were created.
JONATHAN: Do you know how they came to be, Monty?
MONTY: There are many theories on how they came to be. Some say our earliest ancestors in Once Upon a Time assembled them as a gathering place for villagers. Others say mythical creatures of the lands summoned them to rise from the earth itself. While others insist they are asteroids thrown down from space by aliens.
JONATHAN: Really?
REDGE: Out of this world!
JONATHAN: What do you believe, Monty?
MONTY: Me?.... I think they’re more than all of those things. I’m one of the last of a long line of nomadic Mountain Goat herds. When my great-great-great grandfather, Mortimer Mountain Goat, first arrived at the Cliffs, our herd would graze the land and tend to the rocky cliffside. For generations, we were warned to never graze near the Pillars.
REDGE: Why is that?
MONTY: Mortimer forewarned that the Color Pillars were too precious and that the Pillars need lush vegetation to thrive and grow.
JONATHAN: Grow?!
MONTY: Yes. Grow. I’ve watched it happen since I was just a kid. People here don’t believe me, but I’ve noticed that these Pillars very slowly, little by little have indeed grown. If you aren’t looking for it, you wouldn’t notice. Tiny, infinitesimal inches of growth.
JONATHAN: What do you think that means?
MONTY: It means….the Pillars are alive.
(JONATHAN/REDGE both gasp in amazement)
MONTY: And just as Mortimer said all those generations ago, I believe one day we’ll need the Pillars to do more for the land than any herd could. I’ve spent my life protecting the Color Pillars and the land around them, but now…Benny is about to change all that.
REDGE: There must be something we can do!
JONATHAN: We have to protect the Color Pillars!
REDGE: Is there a way to delay the construction?
MONTY: There might be one thing we can do…I’ll need some help though.
JONATHAN: We’re ready!
REDGE: Put us to work!
(Construction trucks vroom and beep.)
BENNY: This way team! This way! Just over the ridge there. Keep up the pace.
With any luck, we can break ground before sunrise. Hey! Hey! Why’d we stop? What’s happening? Why’d we stop?
WORKER: Sorry, boss. But there’s something on the pillars.
BENNY: What? Something on the pillars? What could be on the pillars? Wait-What are those? Are those…mountain goats? How’d they get up there?
MONTY: You should know Mountain Goats are well-trained experts in climbing, Benny. Something that sets them apart from the grazing Bison of the prairies.
BENNY: Monty. I should have known you were behind this. You know this isn’t going to stop us. You’re only stalling the inevitable. We have the paperwork to do our work. We’ve been cleared.
REDGE: You know what I found very interesting, Jonathan?
JONATHAN: What’s that, Redge?
REDGE: It’s really true what they say: Goats will eat anything. Here you are, Monty. The paperwork Benny handed over to you last night.
MONTY: Yum.
(Monty gobbles and crunches the paper.)
MONTY: What a treat.
BENNY: Very cute. But just because you’ve fed our paperwork to your goat friend doesn’t change any facts. You can’t stop the future. It’s coming no matter what. Just embrace iiiiiiiiit.
REDGE: Do you see that Jonathan?
JONATHAN: Truly incredible, Redge!
BENNY: Could it be true?
MONTY: Would you look at that!
JONATHAN: I’m beat, Redge.
REDGE: You said it, Jonathan!
JONATHAN: Thanks, Sal!
(Magical minivan beeps and drives away.)
REDGE: It’s good to be back home in your own hovel.
JONATHAN: What an adventure!
REDGE: A truly magical stop on our T.A.L.E. tour!
JONATHAN: I don’t think I’ll ever experience anything quite like that again.
REDGE: Not likely! What a story to add to our Once Upon a Time lore!
JONATHAN: And to be a part of the story itself is just the cherry on top!
REDGE: (sighs in delight)
JONATHAN: (Sighs in delight) But I wonder, Redge…
REDGE: What’s that, Jonathan?
JONATHAN: Did we just leave our listeners with a cliffhanger at the Cliffhangers?
REDGE: Gasp! You’re right, Jonathan! They don’t know what happened!
REDGE/JONATHAN: FLASHBACK!
(Monty gobbles and crunches the paper.)
MONTY: What a treat.
BENNY: Very cute. But just because you’ve fed our paperwork to your goat friend doesn’t change any facts. You can’t stop the future. It’s coming no matter what. Just embrace iiiiiiiiit.
REDGE: Do you see that, Jonathan?
JONATHAN: Truly incredible, Redge!
BENNY: Could it be true?
MONTY: Would you look at that!
(Sounds of shimmering as the butterfly perch and settle.)
BENNY: Are those….
REDGE/JONATHAN: Butterflies!
REDGE: Huge butterflies!
JONATHAN: As tall as a tree!
REDGE: As big as a building!
JONATHAN/REDGE: Butterflies!
MONTY: Just as I said, the Color Pillars were alive all along.
REDGE: The Color Pillars must have been large cocoons.
JONATHAN: The Color Pillars were in fact caterpillars!
(Large wings flapping.)
BENNY: Watch out! They’re taking flight! Move back! AHHHHHHH! Let’s get out of here!
(Construction trucks beeping and vrooming.)
REDGE: Look! The red one has fiery wings that sprinkle sparks!
(Sound of sparks)
JONATHAN: The yellow butterfly glows as bright as the Spring Equinox sun!
(Sound of gleaming)
MONTY: The blue one has liquidy cool water wings that send waves of water to the earth with each flap.
(Ocean waves)
REDGE: And the green (my favorite!) is scattering seeds upon the earth as it lifts higher and higher into the air!
(Sprinkling seeds)
JONATHAN: Look at them go!
MONTY: Well, Benny was right about one thing.
REDGE: What’s that, Monty?
MONTY: Change is inevitable.
REDGE: And beautiful!
JONATHAN: Spectacular!. I wonder… What will come next for the Cliffhangers after this transformation from Color Pillars to Butterflies?
REDGE: I can’t wait to see!
MONTY: I’m on the edge of my seat!
JONATHAN CORMUR: This has been a Jonincharacter production. This story was written by Monique Hafen Adams, edited by Molly Murphy, and performed by Jonathan Cormur. Sound recording and production by Jermaine Hamilton at Hamilton Studio Recordings. Contact us at dorktalesstorytime@gmail.com or try our one-way text feature as a safe way to reach out. You can find a link at the top of our show notes.
Now, go be the hero of your own story and we’ll see you next once-upon-a-time!
THEME SONG: So gather your squad for all to see. It's a universe that we've imagined. There's twists and turns and lessons learned. This is where the unexpected happens. Join our humble hosts and hit the trails of the wonderful, wacky, wild world of Dorktales.
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