Dorktales Storytime
Be the hero of your own story with Dorktales Storytime, the award-winning podcast for kids and their pop culture loving grownups. Enter their Once Upon a Time world where hosts, Jonathan Cormur and Mr. Reginald T. Hedgehog, take you on a storytelling journey of curiosity and acceptance. You’ll explore reimagined fairytales and fables with social emotional themes, discover inspiring stories of history’s hidden heroes, and experience imaginary tales of boundless possibilities.
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Dorktales Storytime
Ye Olde Fairy Faire - Folklore Stories for Kids
Don your finest mythical attire and set off for a day of frolic and festivity at Mythdom’s annual Fairy Faire. Let the Fairy Godmother, Fey, be your enchanting guide on a grand tour through stalls brimming with splendid finery and magical wares crafted by the fair folk of Fairie. Meet a pint-sized blacksmith who forges armor fit for legends, wander the lanes in search of joyful jousting and jesting, and take your best shot with Rapunzel’s Accurate Archer 5000 at the archery competition. Then, cheer for the Kings and Queens at their Royal Decree before a thrilling ride on the Fairy-Go-Round, powered by pure fae magic!
Go to the episode webpage: https://jonincharacter.com/ye-olde-fairy-faire/
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PARENTS, TEACHERS AND HOMESCHOOLERS: In “Ye Olde Fairy Faire,” Jonathan, Redge, and their friend Fairy Godmother Fey spend a day exploring a lively renaissance style fair and each stop along the way highlights curiosity, creativity, and collaboration. Children learn the value of expressing themselves, supporting their friends, and celebrating the diverse talents that make a community thrive. It’s a gentle, imaginative reminder that everyone brings their own kind of magic to the world.
IF YOU ENJOYED THIS STORY with the Fairy Godmother, Fey, you may also like her appearance in EP90 Cinderella and the Dough Ball: https://jonincharacter.com/cinderella-and-the-dough-ball/
CREDITS: This episode is a Jonincharacter production. It was written and produced by Molly Murphy and performed by Jonathan Cormur. Sound recording and production by Jermaine Hamilton at Pacific Grove Soundworks.
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Now, go be the hero of your own story and we’ll see you next once-upon-a-time!
JONATHAN CORMUR: Hello Dork Squad. I'm Jonathan Cormur and you're listening to Dorktales Storytime, the podcast for kids and their pop culture-loving grown-ups, and this is one of our anything-is-possible lore stories.
THEME SONG: It's a beautiful day for a story, adventure and glory, new friends and old ones too. It's an excellent day to get swept away in a tail, so let us regale you.
REDGE: What do you think of my suit of armor, Jonathan?
JONATHAN: It looks amazing! You make an excellent knight, Redge!
REDGE: Why, thank you! I thought the old suit would be the perfect fit for Mythdom’s Ye Olde Fairy Faire!
JONATHAN: I’m so excited to spend more time in Mythdom! Once Upon A Time’s land of kingdoms! Where you can find princesses and princes–
REDGE: And kings and queens!
JONATHAN: And wizards and dragons and–
REDGE: Fairies!
JONATHAN: You know, I should have thought to dress up in my finest Mythdom attire today. I feel so silly for not thinking about it.
REDGE: That’s alright, Jonathan! (Said in a very fancy way) Mythdom welcomes folk from all across Once Upon a Time. And you look wonder…wait. Wait! I have an idea! Come on, it’s only a little further to get to the Faire!
TOWN CRIER: Here ye! Here ye! Welcome to Ye Olde Fairy Faire! Gather ye round for fun and frivolity! Behold, the fanciest finery and magical wares from the fair folk of fairie!
REDGE: Huh?
JONATHAN: I think he means we can get great snacks and cool stuff from actual fairies!
REDGE: Oh! Right!
TOWN CRIER: Wander the roads in search of jousting and jesting! Take your shot in archery and fill your cup with kings and queens! Great merriment awaits you here at Ye Olde Fairy Faire!
REDGE: Look at all of these booths! So much art!
JONATHAN: And rides! Oh! And jousting! OOO! And swords! Fun!
REDGE: And the smell of Fairy Funnel Cake is divine.
JONATHAN: What do we even do first?
REDGE: Oh, I know just the place, keep following me! We’re nearly there!
JONATHAN: Huzzah!
REDGE: And voila!! Welcome to the one, the only–
FEY: Fanciful Fashions by Fey!
REDGE: Mythdom’s Magnificent Fairy Godmother!
FEY: Why, you flatter me!
JONATHAN: Hey, Fey! It’s great to see you again!
FEY: I haven’t seen you two since we got Cinderella ready for the Dough Ball!
REDGE: She looked fabulous in her sparkling blue suit!
FEY: I agree!
REDGE: I heard a rumor you brought your talents to the faire, and we happen to have a fashion emergency!
JONATHAN: Hey!
REDGE: No, you look wonderful, Jonathan, don’t get me wrong! But you want to dress for the Faire! We must make haste and make it right!
JONATHAN: That is true…
FEY: Well, we can certainly help with that! But first, let me open up my magic dressing room!
REDGE: Ooo I can’t wait to see this!
FEY: Stand back!! A Fairy Godmother’s magic requires space and sparkle! (Clears throat)
Flippity flop, floopdee doo!
We’ll find the perfect fit for you.
That is what we always say
At Fanciful Fashions by your friend, Fey!
REDGE: Yippee!
JONATHAN: Bravo!
FEY: Now, stand up in the dressing room and let’s try on some clothes!
JONATHAN: Alright! This sounds fun!
FEY: What do you wish to wear on your quest? Perhaps a hat with bells, for jokes and jests?
JONATHAN: Ummm, I don’t know if I feel like much of a jester today. I do love these purple stripes! But…maybe not for me.
FEY: That’s alright, that’s alright! Maybe we can try something new, a magical robe and a wand too!
REDGE: Oooo you look just like Merlin the Wizard!
FEY: Oh Merlin! He’s actually at the Faire today. I think he’s running the Sword in the Stone booth again.
REDGE: I’ve never successfully pulled the sword from the stone, but I try every year.
FEY: Me too!
JONATHAN: Hmmm…
FEY: Not quite right yet?
JONATHAN: I don’t think so…
FEY: Finding THE outfit will be our reward! Hmmm…perhaps we try one with a sword!
REDGE: Oh, that’s the one!
JONATHAN: Look at this cape!
FEY: It looks like the sky at midnight!
REDGE: And that is a sword any fairy would be proud to have crafted!
JONATHAN: I agree! I love all these intricate designs!
REDGE: A sight to behold!
JONATHAN: I think you nailed it, Fey!
FEY: Oh, wonderful! Wonderful! I always love it when someone feels their best!
REDGE: Well, now that we’re all dressed and ready, should we go explore more of the Faire?
JONATHAN: Yes! I would love to see what else is going on here today. Fey, if you’re not too busy, would you like to take a break and show us around?
FEY: I would be delighted! Oh! Wait one moment, let me just close up for a bit. (Clears throat)
Loop-de-la, and tra la loo!
We’ll close up shop, that’s what we’ll do.
I’ll leave a sign before I flee
“Be right back when the clock strikes three!”
REDGE: Perfect! Shall we begin our quest?
JONATHAN: Let’s do it!
FEY: Here, take these for our stroll.
JONATHAN: Is this a slice of fairy funnel cake?
FEY: From the Fairy Godmother’s Bakery booth!
JONATHAN: Made by Cinderella herself!
FEY: That’s right! She stopped by and brought me some earlier.
REDGE: (Mouth full) This is delicious!
FEY: Many of Once Upon a Time’s favorite princes and princesses are here, sharing their talents and skills. Look just over here!
REDGE: Is that an archery booth?
FEY: It is indeed!
REDGE: But why are the targets…moving?
JONATHAN: And look how fancy those bows are!
FEY: The bows have arrow targeting technology, top-of-the-line stabilizers, tension testers for the bowstring, and a button on the side that automatically paints it your favorite color!
REDGE: Wait a second…does it say the Accurate Archer 5000?
FEY: It does!
REDGE: I know who is responsible for this just by the name alone…our inventor pal, Rapunzel!
JONATHAN: Ah, that makes a lot of sense! She loves making new inventions, and she loves coming up with games!
FEY: At first, the residents of Mythdom weren’t so sure about putting up a brand-new system for archery competitions, but Rapunzel’s enthusiasm is contagious.
ARCHER: Huzzah! I finally hit the Speedy Zooming Target!
OTHER ARCHERS: Huzzah!
ARCHER TWO (Kristin): And I hit the Swirly Twirly Target!
OTHER ARCHERS: Huzzah!
REDGE: Impressive!
JONATHAN: Oh…my…goodness!!
FEY: What is it, Jonathan?
JONATHAN: (Makes incoherent, excited noises)
REDGE: Did you find something fun?
JONATHAN: (More incoherent, excited noises) Look…down…there!
FEY: Oh! You found Torch Wheelwright’s Smithy! I’m impressed! It can be very easy to miss!
REDGE: A little fairy blacksmith shop in a carved-out tree stump!
JONATHAN: It’s so teeny tiny! Look at the miniature tools!
REDGE: A tiny furnace!
JONATHAN: And the fairy armor! And the swords!
FEY: Mr. Wheelwright does incredible work for all the pixies and fae alike. He comes from the little town of Scribbleton!
REDGE: Hey, we’ve been there!
FEY: But…How?
REDGE: (Very matter-of-fact) Oh, we used magic that helped us shrink down to the right size.
FEY: Oh right! Magic! I can do that! Shrinky-blinky and fiddle-de-fop, let’s shrink right down to the size of this shop!
TORCH: Why, hello! Welcome to the Wheelwright Family Smithy!
JONATHAN: Hello, Mr. Wheelwright! I’m Jonathan, this is Redge, and–
FEY: I’m Fey!
JONATHAN: I’m a huge fan of your work!!
TORCH: That’s mighty kind, mighty kind indeed. What can I do ya for today?
JONATHAN: Unfortunately, I’m a little taller than this normally…so we might just have to look around.
TORCH: Ah, I see! One of those great big tall human folk. That’s fine by me!
REDGE: Hmm…but what if we get some of this finery for the next time we transform into pixie-sized folk and visit Scribbleton?
FEY: That’s a stupendous idea!
JONATHAN: Yes, please!
TORCH: Alrighty, dighty then! Let’s see…what can I make you all today?
REDGE: I would love something that represents my home of the Folktale Forest!
FEY: And perhaps my love of fashion!
JONATHAN: And stories!
TORCH: Hmmmm…wait! I know! What about shields with crests?
REDGE: A crest! Like some kind of symbol that represents me?
TORCH: Exactly!
REDGE: I love me! That sounds fabulous!
FEY: I agree!
TORCH: Let’s get to work then! I’ll sprinkle a little pixie dust over the forge (a sparkling, magical sound), light the Wheelwright’s Brilliant Flame, take my smithing hammer in hand, and begin!
JONATHAN: Wow! He’s zipping around quickly, isn’t he?
FEY: Why of course! That’s a magical blacksmith at work! The Wheelwright family uses magic pixie dust in their forge. I hear they collect it from the embers of their fires.
REDGE: It looks like the shields are almost ready!
JONATHAN: Really??
JONATHAN: Three shields! Just like that! You are extraordinary!
REDGE: I’ll be singing your praises to everyone I know!
FEY: (In a sing-songy way) You’re wonderful! Marvelous!
TORCH: Aw shucks…here you are, might make a good necklace or charm to keep in your pocket when you’re all normal-sized-like. But when you come to Scribbleton, these will be the most honorable and beloved shields, I guarantee it, I do!
REDGE: Mine has an acorn from a mighty oak tree! Like some of my favorite trees in the Folktale Forest!
JONATHAN: Mine has a feather quill and an inkpot!
REDGE: Oooo, for all the stories you tell!
FEY: And mine has a sewing needle and thread! Perfect for a fashion artiste! I love it!
TORCH: Thought you all might appreciate those bits and bobs, there.
JONATHAN: Thank you so much!
REDGE: We’ll cherish them always!
FEY: It was an honor, Torch! But I see you have some forest fairies fluttering in for their own consultation. We’ll leave you to it!
TORCH: Nice to meet ya! Hope to see ya in Scribbleton soon!
FEY: Uppity-buppity, we-bo-lee go, to our size we’re sure to grow!
JONATHAN: Alright, Fey. Where to next?
FEY: Perhaps I can take you to another fairy booth! I believe you know Hesper and Vesper?
REDGE: The fairy of the evening star and her moth companion!
FEY: Exactly! I believe they’re selling wares just over here, just past Alastair’s Evil Elixirs booth!
EVIL WIZARD: (Cackles)
JONATHAN: Maybe we should avoid that one booth for now…
FEY: I agree, he’s quite a grumpy wizard! Oh yes, Hesper and Vesper are just up here! Hesper knit blankets to sell, woven with fairy dust, starlight, and the softest yarn sold in Slumberland!
REDGE: That sounds so cozy!
JONATHAN: (Whispering) Fey! Redge! Shhh!
FEY: (Whispering) What? …Are we about to tell secrets?
JONATHAN: (Whispering) Look at Hesper and Vesper’s booth!
FEY: Awww, they’re asleep on their blankets!
REDGE: I guess we are here during the day, and they’re usually out all night!
FEY: Good point! We’ll return when dusk approaches! So for now…hmmm…we could bob for apples at Bob Goblin’s Apple Bobbin’ Barrel…Or maybe we could take in a round of jousting…hmm no that’s better on day two of the Faire. We can head to The Jester Hat!
REDGE: What’s that?
FEY: Oh…well…it’s a sort of comedy club where all of the court jesters go to tell their most hilarious jokes and—
TOWNCRIER: Here ye! Here ye! It is time now for Ye Olde Fairy Faire Decree!
FEY: Is it time for The Decree already?
REDGE: Fey, what is The Decree?
FEY: Each day of the Faire, all of the Kings and Queens that live in Mythdom come out to make decrees!
TOWNCRIER: Gather ye round! Gather ye round! Behold the Kings and Queens of Mythdom!
JONATHAN: That seems pretty cool! We get to hear official orders from kings and queens!
REDGE: Oh my! I'd better shine up my armor!
KING ONE: HERE YE! I DECREE!
REDGE: Oh! It’s starting!
KING ONE: This has been the BEST Faire of the year!
QUEEN ONE (Kristin): I DECREE! This has been the best Faire of the decade!
FEY: They do get a little competitive…
KING TWO: I DECREE! It’s been the very best, most super awesome Faire…of the CENTURY!
QUEEN TWO (Kristin): BUT I DECREE!! It’s been the best Faire…ever! And I decree there shall be free popcorn for everyone! So there!
CROWD (Jonathan improvising voices and with Kristin and Redge): Huzzah!
(Trumpets sound triumphantly)
REDGE: Free popcorn!
JONATHAN: I don’t know how this day could get any better!
FEY: I may know how…
JONATHAN: Really?
FEY: Come on! I’ll race you there!
REDGE: But Fey! Where are we going!
FEY: Welcome to…the Fairy-Go-Round!
REDGE: Eeee! I love merry-go-rounds!
FEY: Not a merry-go-round here at the Ye Old Fairy Faire, Redge! Here, we have the Fairy-Go-Round, and it runs on pure fairy magic!
JONATHAN: Oh! Oh! I call the dragon! I’m riding on the dragon!
FEY: Excellent choice, it shoots sparkling fire from its mouth! I think I’ll ride on the unicorn! I love that it’s surrounded by clouds in all my favorite colors. (As an aside) Which is every color in the rainbow!
REDGE: Oh! I can’t decide! There are so many marvelous creat—A BUTTERFLY? I WILL BE RIDING ON THE BUTTERFLY!
FEY: Ooo, that one is fun, it soars around and leaves flowers in its path!
JONATHAN: Fey, thank you for showing us around today!
REDGE: I had the most marvelous time!
FEY: It was my pleasure! And there is always more to see!
JONATHAN: Huzzah!
REDGE: We’re up! We’re up! To the butterfly I go!
FEY: I love Ye Olde Fairy Faire!
REDGE: Weeeeeee!
JONATHAN: This has been a Jonincharacter production. This story was written and produced by Molly Murphy and performed by Jonathan Cormur and Kristin Schmitz. Sound recording and production by Jermaine Hamilton at Pacific Grove Soundworks. We love hearing from you! Contact us at dorktalesstorytime@gmail.com or try our one-way text feature as a safe way to reach out. You can find even more ways to reach us in the show notes.
Now, go be the hero of your own story and we’ll see you next once-upon-a-time!
THEME SONG: So gather your squad for all to see. It's a universe that we've imagined. There's twists and turns and lessons learned. This is where the unexpected happens. Join our humble hosts and hit the trails of the wonderful, wacky, wild world of Dorktales.
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